The first few months of the greatest adventure ever (And everyone's opinions about it)

Well, it's been a while since I posted. I can say that I felt somewhat suffocated from not posting! I am pregnant, and the world had put the fear of god into me that if I told people within the first three months that surely I would jinx it, so I stayed mum (well, to the general public at least) and found it very difficult! 

I do understand the idea behind it. The miscarriage rate is very high those first months, and to save you explaining an even more difficult situation, you are encouraged to keep the news to yourself. But are we, as a society, just masking truth then? Why can't people know that babies are precious and don't always make it? I feel like it hearkens back to our puritanical roots, let's not talk about things until they're nice and tidy and clean, much less possibility of devastation or sorrow, which is very messy.

During these months, I realized that I never keep ANYTHING truly to myself. It's all so overwhelming, let's be honest... it's pretty much all I could think about. Therefore, when people asked how I was, what was going on - I felt like a LIAR. 

Of course, that was only when I was actually awake, which was not often at all. Apparently cell splitting is the most exhausting work you'll ever do, I could barely keep myself upright.

Thank goodness, I am through the first trimester. Almost 15 weeks now. Still not really "showing," but I sure do feel fat! I am due in January, and we've decided to wait until then to see if it's a boy or a girl who will be turning our life on its head.

I may have to post more than right now to even come close to scratching the surface of all the emotions/fears/thoughts/hopes I've been going through on a constant basis. Truly overwhelming, and I know I'm at the "easy" part! 

There is one topic I'd like to comment on for today though: the "mom police." Wow. Again, I am positive this is a situation that can only worsen with time, but boy do people feel the right to comment on your pregnancy/birth in unwarranted ways! Moms have OPINIONS, and they are not afraid to share them. It's too bad, because I would like to talk about everything that's happening inside, but I am learning to be more selective about who I welcome into what topics - and if I really even want anyone's opinions at all! I am reading the books, I am in tune with my body and I plan on raising my child with smarts/instinct/intuition and lessons learned from watching other exemplary parents (like mine). But, being an open soul like I think I have, people really seem to want to tell me how to do stuff. Which can be a blessing - they also want to help and give hand-me downs, etc., but often their advice and stories just make me feel daunted and depressed. So, next to impossible as it may be, I am going to attempt to keep my pregnancy/baby out of the fields of all these intense energies. People have been doing this for a long time, I have a great doctor and a great doula - I don't need all the extra noise!!!