Well, I haven't written as much lately. I have been terribly busy, and trying to keep up!
Let's see... we film our commercial next Saturday that I get a producer credit on! It's very cool. The girl we cast has been testing really well, she's an amazing find. I have been really stressed about it, but I'm trying to stay cool calm and collected about the whole endeavor. It's hard.
Yoga has been great, and I even got out running this week! I have been feeling like my strength training and yoga have been in place, but my cardio is lamentable. Working on it.
Tonight we're going to a pre-season Dodgers game against the Red Sox. I'm not incredibly excited about it, but I am being a good wife. I have to get up super early on Saturdays to teach sculpt, so I hope it doesn't turn out to be a late night.
Last night Rich and I had a rather intense discussion, I called it our first real "marriage" discussion. He has been crazy into figuring out real estate lately, which I've been encouraging. He looks online all day long, finding houses both here and in other states that we would possibly be able to afford. He started a ING savings account. He paid off his credit debt and is working on getting his score higher. He talked to a home loan person and is figuring out how much of a loan we could get.
All of this is really quite amazing to me, which I tried to articulate last night. I am thrilled at his gumption, and all of it is, obviously, a direction we want to be figuring out since we want to start a family, and to top it all off he is also consulting my Mom for advice which I love. I mean, my Mom is a genius and I want them to have a real relationship, so I adore that he recognizes her as a real resource for knowledge and wants to talk to her.
The interesting thing is that it really is quite a turn for his personality, in my opinion. I mean, the things that I fell in love with Rich for were not his career oriented, money-savvy personality. To me, he is a poet at heart, a Buddhist by nature and the most loyal and loving person I've ever met. But not really the type to be completely infatuated with getting ahead. And in our conversation I tried to get to the bottom of it, which I think we did. He wants our burgeoning family to have stability. Which is a really lovely motive, and not one that I'm ever going to fault him for, it makes me love him more.
However, I also tried to get him to see a bigger picture. He really has gone hog wild with the thing. And though I completely see his points that the housing market is good for buyers right now and that we are essentially throwing rent money down the drain rather than using it to our advantage, the fact is that I'm not sure our lives at present are compatible with buying, and that really is part of it. For one, he knows that I am not comfortable with a long commute. And maybe that seems shallow, but you might not live in California! The places we can afford here are all at least an hour commute each way, and I'm sorry but I can't handle it very well. I will be a miserable person, and I tried to get him to understand that. My point is, what is the point of life if you are miserable for it? I would rather pay rent my whole life (I think?) than be hating my life. And with all my extra activities, teaching sculpt etc., I really need my time away from 9-5 to be open.
Which led to another discussion of whether or not I really want to leave California at all. And this discussion surprised me, because I became really emotional. I guess I really do love my life right now, because when it comes down to it I don't really want to make any changes! I mean, I want to start a family, of course, but other than that I'm really darn happy. I love CA for the weather, the people, my friends, the culture, the ocean, my job, my house (and it's exact location), my yoga studio. It just sucks that we'll never be able to afford something here where we would want to live, but it's also the truth!
All I could tell him is that I really feel that my priorities will change when (god willing) we have a child. I know at some point that having a house with a washer/dryer, with family closer, will become a big priority and that we can change things at that point. And I don't know if I'm stagnating here or if this really is the right decision, but I do know that it is the way I feel. I don't know how much damage we've done to our lives by not owning anything by this point, but I also don't know that another year is going to make a difference.
So he's decided to calm down his searching for a bit. Which is his compromise more than mine, as he pointed out. I really want him to continue to be interested in real estate for when we do actually decide to buy, I just don't think it's exactly the right time yet.
I don't know the answers, but I'm glad we're talking about it. We will figure it out eventually, I believe... and hope...
Friday, March 28, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
First Fire Spinning!
So I was really nervous this time, and we thought we didn't get any video, but turns out we did. I know I really don't look that cool... I was absolutely terrified! But here it is. Hopefully many cooler looking videos to come!
Monday, March 10, 2008
A few things to remember...
It was a lovely weekend all around. Spring is definitely in the air here in SoCal, and that is definitely my favorite time of the year. So much happiness and possibility. I know it's all fairly cliche of me to love the sun so much, but I can't deny it.
On Friday night we went and saw one of my most talented friends at her best. Deena Rubinson, who is a singer songwriter and worthy of some of your download time, played at Molly Malone's. It was an amazing show, definitely the best I've ever seen her do and I've been going to her shows for about 6 years now. She has a new band including an incredible guitairist and complimentary back-up singers, along with her wonderful old standby cellist Mike Rainey, drummer and bassist. It's a big sound that compliments her folky/country fun songs but doesn't overpower the more somber fare. Deena is like a modern day troubadour. I've never even heard of someone with the skill she has of crafting a song around particular people and circumstances, she's almost a court musician, but with the songs completely worthy on their own. She wrote two songs for our wedding in August, so beautiful... and I can't wait to get them on tape! She's busy, but I know she'll record them sooner or later and I can post them for everyone to hear. They may even wind up on her next CD!
On Saturday I taught sculpt and took yoga. Sculpt went well... nothing much to report except that I kicked my own students' AND my own ass so hard that I could barely walk on Sunday. Maybe overdid it a little. I'm working on finding the right level.
Then onto yoga with Jay Co., one of my favs. I wanted to jot down one idea from his class that stuck with me. He said that there is an ancient Chinese proverb that says that everyone is born into life with the same amount of breaths. And that if you live your life taking short, hurried breaths then that is what your life will be, short and hurried. But if you can deepen your breath, your life will also be deeper and fuller. A good idea, and a good thing for me to remember if I ever get into teaching yoga more!
The rest of Saturday was a lovely day hanging out with Sarah and Dan, teaching Sarah a little guitar and eating a raw vegan yummy dinner. On Sunday I watched my talented husband play some baseball (he hit a homer as usual and a really nice diving catch in the outfield), and then Sunday night did some fire spinning. I would like to blog about that some more, but maybe later. It was a really crazy experience. Don't worry... I'm not burned. :-)
On Friday night we went and saw one of my most talented friends at her best. Deena Rubinson, who is a singer songwriter and worthy of some of your download time, played at Molly Malone's. It was an amazing show, definitely the best I've ever seen her do and I've been going to her shows for about 6 years now. She has a new band including an incredible guitairist and complimentary back-up singers, along with her wonderful old standby cellist Mike Rainey, drummer and bassist. It's a big sound that compliments her folky/country fun songs but doesn't overpower the more somber fare. Deena is like a modern day troubadour. I've never even heard of someone with the skill she has of crafting a song around particular people and circumstances, she's almost a court musician, but with the songs completely worthy on their own. She wrote two songs for our wedding in August, so beautiful... and I can't wait to get them on tape! She's busy, but I know she'll record them sooner or later and I can post them for everyone to hear. They may even wind up on her next CD!
On Saturday I taught sculpt and took yoga. Sculpt went well... nothing much to report except that I kicked my own students' AND my own ass so hard that I could barely walk on Sunday. Maybe overdid it a little. I'm working on finding the right level.
Then onto yoga with Jay Co., one of my favs. I wanted to jot down one idea from his class that stuck with me. He said that there is an ancient Chinese proverb that says that everyone is born into life with the same amount of breaths. And that if you live your life taking short, hurried breaths then that is what your life will be, short and hurried. But if you can deepen your breath, your life will also be deeper and fuller. A good idea, and a good thing for me to remember if I ever get into teaching yoga more!
The rest of Saturday was a lovely day hanging out with Sarah and Dan, teaching Sarah a little guitar and eating a raw vegan yummy dinner. On Sunday I watched my talented husband play some baseball (he hit a homer as usual and a really nice diving catch in the outfield), and then Sunday night did some fire spinning. I would like to blog about that some more, but maybe later. It was a really crazy experience. Don't worry... I'm not burned. :-)
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
I found her!
I am so very excited. After a couple weeks of casting, I have found a comedic goddess. She is hilarious. Her name is Suzi Barrett, and she will totally be famous some day! She is just so darn funny. We've cast her for a series of commercials, and I'm just so totally relieved to have found someone so great and funny. I was so worried I wouldn't!
After this round of auditions, I do have one for my wall of shame. Perhaps it's a bit tacky, but I have a wall of shame behind me at my desk at work. It never fails that, at least once in every round of auditions I have someone so crazy that they wind up with their headshot on this wall. I will protect their names, but here are some stories:
1. Let's call her "Montana" - she crashed the audition where we were looking for a pretty girl, complete with unibrow, extremely masculine body type and resume with nothing but drill sargeant experience!
2. "Greg" - I was looking for a sexy straight man. He lookes straight in his headshot... but then he walked into the audition with no shirt on (for real!), asked me to get him some water!, and then proceeded to do his best straight man impersonation, which was not very convincing. At our front desk there's a little candy machine that spits out M&Ms. You have to turn a handle and they go through an obstacle course to get to the bottom. Usually, very bold people visitors may walk up to it and turn it once to get 2 candies. The girls at the front desk told me he walked up there shirtless and turned it 20 times in a row!!!
3. "Elaine" - Very blonde. This may be tough to re-tell, but she came into an audition where the girl was supposed to talk on the phone to an answering service. I encouraged auditioners to use their cell phones rather than miming a phone. When it got to that section in the script, she picked up the cell phone and proceeded to dial. I was reading the other part off camera, and said hello... and she looked at me... then down at the phone... then at me... she didn't seem to understand why the voice wasn't coming from the phone! So she then hid the phone behind her back and proceeded with the scene. Cause that makes sense.
4. "Sarah" - Actually in this last round of auditions. She came in and did a very dry reading. (PS this is for a dental commercial) I told her she could do it again... but to PLEASE bump up the energy and give it her all. She said, do you really want me to go for it? I said yes, of course. So she ran over to her bag and pulled out a huge bag of sugar and a spoon. And she ate it. Big spoonfuls. While doing the EXACT same reading that she did a minute ago! Just chewing sugar! For no apparent reason except that it is a dental commercial and she was supposed to have neglected her teeth... but it had nothing to do with the scene! At the end she said she felt sick. I wanted her to leave the room as quickly as possible, and I knew she was a real estate agent as well, so I tried to make a joke about how hyper she was going to be after all that sugar and said "Well, go sell some houses!" To which she replied "Is that a hint?"
Well, yes, darling, in fact it is.
After this round of auditions, I do have one for my wall of shame. Perhaps it's a bit tacky, but I have a wall of shame behind me at my desk at work. It never fails that, at least once in every round of auditions I have someone so crazy that they wind up with their headshot on this wall. I will protect their names, but here are some stories:
1. Let's call her "Montana" - she crashed the audition where we were looking for a pretty girl, complete with unibrow, extremely masculine body type and resume with nothing but drill sargeant experience!
2. "Greg" - I was looking for a sexy straight man. He lookes straight in his headshot... but then he walked into the audition with no shirt on (for real!), asked me to get him some water!, and then proceeded to do his best straight man impersonation, which was not very convincing. At our front desk there's a little candy machine that spits out M&Ms. You have to turn a handle and they go through an obstacle course to get to the bottom. Usually, very bold people visitors may walk up to it and turn it once to get 2 candies. The girls at the front desk told me he walked up there shirtless and turned it 20 times in a row!!!
3. "Elaine" - Very blonde. This may be tough to re-tell, but she came into an audition where the girl was supposed to talk on the phone to an answering service. I encouraged auditioners to use their cell phones rather than miming a phone. When it got to that section in the script, she picked up the cell phone and proceeded to dial. I was reading the other part off camera, and said hello... and she looked at me... then down at the phone... then at me... she didn't seem to understand why the voice wasn't coming from the phone! So she then hid the phone behind her back and proceeded with the scene. Cause that makes sense.
4. "Sarah" - Actually in this last round of auditions. She came in and did a very dry reading. (PS this is for a dental commercial) I told her she could do it again... but to PLEASE bump up the energy and give it her all. She said, do you really want me to go for it? I said yes, of course. So she ran over to her bag and pulled out a huge bag of sugar and a spoon. And she ate it. Big spoonfuls. While doing the EXACT same reading that she did a minute ago! Just chewing sugar! For no apparent reason except that it is a dental commercial and she was supposed to have neglected her teeth... but it had nothing to do with the scene! At the end she said she felt sick. I wanted her to leave the room as quickly as possible, and I knew she was a real estate agent as well, so I tried to make a joke about how hyper she was going to be after all that sugar and said "Well, go sell some houses!" To which she replied "Is that a hint?"
Well, yes, darling, in fact it is.
Monday, March 3, 2008
...and the fire said...
So last night was my lighting up ceremony. And what a welcome it was! So many emotions in the whole experience, I will try to share a few.
First of all, my dear husband came to watch and was instructed to take video on our camera. Of course, as soon as I started spinning the battery on the camera went out! Oh well. He did get some short videos on his cell phone. He very cutely sent them to a lot of his friends with the caption "This is my wife."
So I was a little nervous about the whole affair. I think for many reasons... fire burning me being one!, but also I think that I've just psyched myself up so much for the whole event that I didn't really even know what to expect anymore. Upon getting to the beach, it seemed like it was taking forever to get to the spinning, so by the time we did I was just ready to do it and so, of course, I went first.
As soon as the fire lit up on the end of my poi, the strangest feeling came over me. It is quite the adrenaline rush! But it also felt very... ok, how do I put this? It was like my heart was very active and alive. Tingly. Primal. And I started spinning, but I was pretty conservative. I didn't want to take too many chances on moves I wasn't 100% on. I was a little tentative. I put the poi out, and then I watched the rest of my class, which was so interesting! I mean, I've been practicing with these people for weeks, but their personalities really came out when they lit up. Valentina, this awesome girl who is probably my best friend there, just took to it like nobody's business. She did all the moves and was completely unafraid. Another girl, Marina, was so cute! She lit up and just started laughing and forgot everything. She did nothing but earth (a basic move) but her face and her smile and the fact that she kind of narrated the whole thing made it so special. Jessica, who is also generally quiet, was instantly addicted and loud and wanted to do it again and again. And Charles, who is not the smoothest of spinners and who I was a fire safety for, was completely not scared at all and just freaked out, doing moves he can't do normally and still couldn't do right, but did them anyway and was fine.
I was inspired by my group, so the second time I lit up I was more relaxed and danced it out more. I did chasing the sun (a move over my head) and even messed up a transition, hitting myself in the back for a second, and it was fine! In other words, I got more comfortable quickly. The fire will not burn you if it touches you for just a second, and I knew that but I had to experience it first hand to really believe it.
Fire can create and destroy. It is such a powerful element. It makes you feel powerful and sexy to be around it, dominating it and dancing with it. I've always been a big fan of bonfires, I love going to Burning Man, etc., but I've never had as close of a relationship to it as I do now. My heart still gets tingly just thinking about the whole thing. And watching all the amazing spinners that went after us in the open spin jam, I cannot wait to learn more moves and define my fiery character more.
First of all, my dear husband came to watch and was instructed to take video on our camera. Of course, as soon as I started spinning the battery on the camera went out! Oh well. He did get some short videos on his cell phone. He very cutely sent them to a lot of his friends with the caption "This is my wife."
So I was a little nervous about the whole affair. I think for many reasons... fire burning me being one!, but also I think that I've just psyched myself up so much for the whole event that I didn't really even know what to expect anymore. Upon getting to the beach, it seemed like it was taking forever to get to the spinning, so by the time we did I was just ready to do it and so, of course, I went first.
As soon as the fire lit up on the end of my poi, the strangest feeling came over me. It is quite the adrenaline rush! But it also felt very... ok, how do I put this? It was like my heart was very active and alive. Tingly. Primal. And I started spinning, but I was pretty conservative. I didn't want to take too many chances on moves I wasn't 100% on. I was a little tentative. I put the poi out, and then I watched the rest of my class, which was so interesting! I mean, I've been practicing with these people for weeks, but their personalities really came out when they lit up. Valentina, this awesome girl who is probably my best friend there, just took to it like nobody's business. She did all the moves and was completely unafraid. Another girl, Marina, was so cute! She lit up and just started laughing and forgot everything. She did nothing but earth (a basic move) but her face and her smile and the fact that she kind of narrated the whole thing made it so special. Jessica, who is also generally quiet, was instantly addicted and loud and wanted to do it again and again. And Charles, who is not the smoothest of spinners and who I was a fire safety for, was completely not scared at all and just freaked out, doing moves he can't do normally and still couldn't do right, but did them anyway and was fine.
I was inspired by my group, so the second time I lit up I was more relaxed and danced it out more. I did chasing the sun (a move over my head) and even messed up a transition, hitting myself in the back for a second, and it was fine! In other words, I got more comfortable quickly. The fire will not burn you if it touches you for just a second, and I knew that but I had to experience it first hand to really believe it.
Fire can create and destroy. It is such a powerful element. It makes you feel powerful and sexy to be around it, dominating it and dancing with it. I've always been a big fan of bonfires, I love going to Burning Man, etc., but I've never had as close of a relationship to it as I do now. My heart still gets tingly just thinking about the whole thing. And watching all the amazing spinners that went after us in the open spin jam, I cannot wait to learn more moves and define my fiery character more.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
I'm getting there!
It really is amazing how quickly and exponentially I feel more comfortable teaching the sculpt class! I was not even worried last night, and today was really fun! The girls said they were sore from last week, which is great - why else come to sculpt class?! I was able to be more calm, and really enjoy it more and read them more. Denise said she listened and I'm already using less "ums" than I did at first.
I feel really lucky that I'm starting to use this side of myself, and I'm surprised at how easy it flows. My favorite teachers are the ones that seem to tap into a universal energy when they teach, like a life force that just flows through their bodies and mouths. Hopefully someday I can be like that. Baby steps.
I feel really lucky that I'm starting to use this side of myself, and I'm surprised at how easy it flows. My favorite teachers are the ones that seem to tap into a universal energy when they teach, like a life force that just flows through their bodies and mouths. Hopefully someday I can be like that. Baby steps.
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