Resolutions? Reservations? Reinvention? Reincarnation?

So lately I've been feeling very inspired and revved up, but with little outcome and much frustration. There is just SO much going on in this head of mine! It is somewhat a normal yearly cycle to me. The winter I start hibernating and being always amazed by it, wondering what is wrong with me? Then the introspection takes the form of goal setting... which then kinda goes somewhere and kinda doesn't until it's spring and I start really enjoying myself and life again, then summer when I really kick into a mode of pure living and enjoyment, and the goals sometimes get left by the wayside. And I have trouble deciphering if I'm too hard on myself with these goals (I mean, I already do work a full time job, excercise most every day, work part time at a yoga studio and planned and executed a wedding last year)... but mostly I think I lack follow through and am stuck in some kind of fear. My goals this year mainly revolve around wanting to be teaching excercise (yoga, spinning, sculpt) rather than participating. I feel like I have a real passion that I desperately want to share with people, and I've taken steps and gotten certifications, etc., but then I get stilted. Add on to that that I'd really love to become a mother this year, and then I get into complete fear mode! How can I do it all? Or is that some sort of 80s woman cliche, and my summer mentality of just enjoying life as it comes is more correct? Anyway, I guess I've decided to write a bit. Maybe it will help. I've been really inspired by some bloggers out there, namely http://bohemiangirldesigns.blogspot.com/ and http://www.sarcomical.com/, and I realized that they are just writing out there and I am loving reading it! My husband (we got married in August) is away for 6 weeks. You ready for where? He's at Major League Baseball Umpire Training Camp. How's that for unique? He is doing great, and for the most part, so have I. I started the year with the goals of really getting into yoga practice, and I also did the Master Cleanse, which is incidentally how I found those other bloggers. They helped me a bit with the day to day of the cleanse, which was an extremely interesting process. I honestly felt amazing, especially after the first 3 days. I set that goal and attained it. So I suppose I am maybe pushing myself a little too hard, with no one (namely my husband) home to comfort me for a few hours a night and let me know that I'm being too hard on myself. Because lately all I see is panic, panic that I'm not reaching these goals which are not even that clearly defined, these goals that are somehow magically going to assure me that I am in fact going to be ready to have a child this year, all my ducks are in a row, somehow I won't have to work full time I can just teach exercise part time and we will live on my husband's brand new salary (which is not going to be much, but we're not really consumers too much anyway). But the fact is we probably really won't have enough money, and everything is really not going to be easy, and probably never will be again until the kid is way older. But I want a child more than anything, and I think the older I get the more scared I get at the same time, and I can't let that keep me from doing it! I have had an amazing time, I didn't get married too young, I've been wild and free and loose and wonderful, and now I am ready to create a family. I know that deep down. Even as I write it I feel my shoulders loosen a little. And yoga will always be there, and teaching will always be there, and I will figure it out as it happens. If I have gotten by thus far in life, I know I will keep going and life will keep providing and being magical. I am, after all, a child of the universe.