i don't write about this often. i don't think about this often. my sister is dying. slowly. from heroin. and i have become so desensitized that i hardly even remember it. and i hate that. i saw pictures of it tonight. she posted them on her myspace. she was always a pretty girl. she cut off all her hair. her eyes are dark. her neck is full. her face is acnied. she looks like a boy.
she is shoving it in our faces.
she is forcing herself to die.
and all i can think is that i wish she would just die already. because watching her die slowly is not a fucking picnic.
and i hate myself for thinking that.
if i thought i could save her, i would know if was 5 years ago. it is too late unless she does it herself.
a long, long time ago i sang her lullabies every night to go to sleep.
a long, long time ago we wrote them all down because she always wanted to remember all the words.
a long, long time ago she was a beautiful, funny girl.
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2 comments:
I love you. And I love your sister because I love you.
Oh sweetie, my heart aches for you. One of my sister's is addicted to methadone, I've never been close to her, but no one in the family is doing anything about it.
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