Catching up...

Well, I haven't written as much lately. I have been terribly busy, and trying to keep up!

Let's see... we film our commercial next Saturday that I get a producer credit on! It's very cool. The girl we cast has been testing really well, she's an amazing find. I have been really stressed about it, but I'm trying to stay cool calm and collected about the whole endeavor. It's hard.

Yoga has been great, and I even got out running this week! I have been feeling like my strength training and yoga have been in place, but my cardio is lamentable. Working on it.

Tonight we're going to a pre-season Dodgers game against the Red Sox. I'm not incredibly excited about it, but I am being a good wife. I have to get up super early on Saturdays to teach sculpt, so I hope it doesn't turn out to be a late night.

Last night Rich and I had a rather intense discussion, I called it our first real "marriage" discussion. He has been crazy into figuring out real estate lately, which I've been encouraging. He looks online all day long, finding houses both here and in other states that we would possibly be able to afford. He started a ING savings account. He paid off his credit debt and is working on getting his score higher. He talked to a home loan person and is figuring out how much of a loan we could get.

All of this is really quite amazing to me, which I tried to articulate last night. I am thrilled at his gumption, and all of it is, obviously, a direction we want to be figuring out since we want to start a family, and to top it all off he is also consulting my Mom for advice which I love. I mean, my Mom is a genius and I want them to have a real relationship, so I adore that he recognizes her as a real resource for knowledge and wants to talk to her.

The interesting thing is that it really is quite a turn for his personality, in my opinion. I mean, the things that I fell in love with Rich for were not his career oriented, money-savvy personality. To me, he is a poet at heart, a Buddhist by nature and the most loyal and loving person I've ever met. But not really the type to be completely infatuated with getting ahead. And in our conversation I tried to get to the bottom of it, which I think we did. He wants our burgeoning family to have stability. Which is a really lovely motive, and not one that I'm ever going to fault him for, it makes me love him more.

However, I also tried to get him to see a bigger picture. He really has gone hog wild with the thing. And though I completely see his points that the housing market is good for buyers right now and that we are essentially throwing rent money down the drain rather than using it to our advantage, the fact is that I'm not sure our lives at present are compatible with buying, and that really is part of it. For one, he knows that I am not comfortable with a long commute. And maybe that seems shallow, but you might not live in California! The places we can afford here are all at least an hour commute each way, and I'm sorry but I can't handle it very well. I will be a miserable person, and I tried to get him to understand that. My point is, what is the point of life if you are miserable for it? I would rather pay rent my whole life (I think?) than be hating my life. And with all my extra activities, teaching sculpt etc., I really need my time away from 9-5 to be open.

Which led to another discussion of whether or not I really want to leave California at all. And this discussion surprised me, because I became really emotional. I guess I really do love my life right now, because when it comes down to it I don't really want to make any changes! I mean, I want to start a family, of course, but other than that I'm really darn happy. I love CA for the weather, the people, my friends, the culture, the ocean, my job, my house (and it's exact location), my yoga studio. It just sucks that we'll never be able to afford something here where we would want to live, but it's also the truth!

All I could tell him is that I really feel that my priorities will change when (god willing) we have a child. I know at some point that having a house with a washer/dryer, with family closer, will become a big priority and that we can change things at that point. And I don't know if I'm stagnating here or if this really is the right decision, but I do know that it is the way I feel. I don't know how much damage we've done to our lives by not owning anything by this point, but I also don't know that another year is going to make a difference.

So he's decided to calm down his searching for a bit. Which is his compromise more than mine, as he pointed out. I really want him to continue to be interested in real estate for when we do actually decide to buy, I just don't think it's exactly the right time yet.

I don't know the answers, but I'm glad we're talking about it. We will figure it out eventually, I believe... and hope...